| dumb dumb dumb. i feel angry but then can't bring up my feelings. need away to communicate better or else i keep getting sad. not good. hard to bring up though when you have a drink and watch arrested! just wanna txt rofl quotes instead of talk. h8 this. i expect so much and give you what i expect from you, but don't get it. wtf! |
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| fuck you for not even trying to come visit. what's your deal? what have you been doing for the past 9 hours that doesn't allow you to text me back to give me hope or give me the permission to drink a glass of wine if you're not coming? josh can come up whenever the fuck he can but apparently i'm not worth it enough to do that for you. sooooo go fuck yourself. i'll feel bad if something bad actually happened |
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| i hate pmsing and the feeling that nothing will ever get better. i just wanna go up to my dad's house. blehh things have got to get better, right? whatever goes down must go up?
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| a friend of a friend tried to kill herself today, hard hitting and sad indeed. also my grandma died almost exactly 24 hours ago. vrai sad day indeed. linguistics exam and iah paper due tomorrow. don't feel like doing anything really. summer almost though, hope it's good. had the weirdest dream last night. i dreampt i was looking out my window onto adams field and it was a cemetary, and there were recent graduates rushing around a funeral procession in their cap and gowns and in my dream i thought "even though one thing ends, everything else continues" that was my last thought before i went to bed. and my roommate left today. it's the end of an era
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| 1. sleep
2. watch weird romantic comedies, when I start making fun of them then I'll be better, but I need the optimism for now
3. just get through the next 2 and a half weeks, don't be sad about leaving, just focus on summer and feeling good
4. listen to the fear by lily allen on repeat
5. find some way to get a bottle of champagne
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